I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around.

They said no and slammed the door in my face!

Parents can be real jerks.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

Dentist: "You need a crown."

Patient: "Finally, someone who understands me."

While going through his deceased father’s things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair.

Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket.

The owner goes to the back and then reappears. “Good news,” he begins, “they’ll be ready next Friday.”