A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children...”

He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. "Mr. Cohen," she says, "would you say you’re honest?"

"Honest?" replies Mr. Cohen. "Let me tell you something about honesty. My father lent me $75,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

"Dad sued me for the money."

How did the girl break up with tractor salesman?

She sent him a John Deere letter.

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.

And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.