The boss said I should go home because I really don't look good.

I don't know if I should be happy to get the extra rest or just offended!

Is there rehab for gossiping?

I don't need it, but I'll tell you who does...

A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one day.

"Why do you need so much milk?" the mailman asks.

The lady replies, "I heard that taking baths in milk makes you healthier and prettier."

The milkman asks, "Would you like the milk pasteurized?"

She answers, "No, just up to the neck".

Anyone want to buy some exercise equipment?

I'm having a going-out-of-fitness sale.