A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo.

“Daddy, I don't like how that hyena is looking at me from behind that glass, it's quite scary!” says the boy.

“Shush, Jason, this is only the ticket office!”

Boyfriend: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Robert. I don't have a mansion like Gary. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you."

Girlfriend: "Oh dear, I love you too... what was that you said about Martin?"

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!"

Caddy: "I don't think so, sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!"

The definition of a "gimme" in golf can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...

Neither of whom can putt very well.

​