Police officer: “Your truck is heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.”

Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce, tops!”

I went to the doctors recently. He said, "Don't eat anything fatty."

I said, "What, like bacon and burgers?"

He said, "No, I mean you, Fatty, don't eat anything!"

My boss always laughed at my jokes at work, but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.

She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."

I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”

I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”