When I was at the gym yesterday, everyone kept asking me why I was always sitting still on the stationary bike.

I’m going downhill, dude, mind your own business.

A lady walked into a dentist's office and exclaimed, "I don't know which is worse, having a root canal or having a baby!"

The dentist replied, "Well make up your mind, so I know how to tilt the chair."

Neighbor: "How old is your father?"

Boy: "As old as me."

Neighbor: "How can that be?"

Boy: "He became a father when I was born."

Teacher: "Little Johnny, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

Little Johnny: "What do you think it is, Sir?"

Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

Little Johnny: "I don't think I know either, Sir."