American psychologists have isolated two fundamental reasons why men frequent bars.

1) They don’t have a woman.

2) They have a woman.

When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, “You missed work yesterday, didn’t you?”

I said, “No, not particularly."

Two sharks are swimming along in the ocean when they spot a windsurfer.

“Ooh, look, a snack!” cheers up the first one.

The second one nods appreciatively, “And on a nice little plate with even a napkin!"