Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way back into the forest. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer.

"The plane won't carry six deer, you'll have to leave two of them," said the pilot, trying to be friendly.

Unwilling to leave their dead deer, the hunters said "We got six on the plane last year."

The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, "Any idea where we are?"

The second hunter said, "Yeah, right about where our plane went down last year."

Knock Knock...

Who's there?

Owls say...

Owls say who?

Yes, yes they do.

The soldier asked for a furlough so that he might get married. "How long have you known this girl," the sergeant asked.

"A week."

"Why, my lad, that's not long enough. I suggest you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married I will approve the furlough."

Two months later the soldier was back, reminding the sergeant of his promise.

"So you still want to get married? I didn't think that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for a couple of months."

"I know, sir. But this isn't the same girl."

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar. The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate scientist says to the bartender, "Those climate-change deniers! You can show them the proof but they still won't buy it!