His wife returned from the morning shopping expedition and called her husband into the room from the garden.

"Frederick," she said heavily, "When you came home last night you told me you had been to the Grand Hotel with Mr. Wilson. I just met Mrs. Wilson, and she said you were both at the Trocadero. Why did you lie to me like that."

Hubby groaned. "When I came home last night I couldn't say 'Trocadero.'"

I have finally found something I must be in love with...

GRAVITY!

I fall for it all the time.

To show my wife how much I love her I bought her a beautiful diamond ring...

I had it engraved with the cost.

Three Engineering students at a prestigious university were sharing a can of "one-calorie" diet cola. After pouring it equally into three cups one of them drank his. Then the second drank hers.

The third Engineer just stared at the cup suspiciously. "I wonder who got the calorie?"