A man, in his carefree bachelor days, had been very fond of a Washington restaurant which specialized in waffles with honey. Year after year he had visited this place to get this very delectable meal, so when he married, he decided to to take his wife there so they could share the pleasure together. He did not tell her what was coming, merely ordering an excellent meal with two orders of waffles.

The meal came, the waffles came but there were two small pitchers of near maple syrup, but no honey.

He called the waitress over and whispered loud enough for his wife to hear, "Where's my honey?"

The waitress beamed intelligently, "She's on vacation and will be back next week."

A kindhearted judge was commiserating with the wife. "Your husband really has a problem. Has he ever tried Alcoholics Anonymous?"

"I'm sure he has," she nodded sadly. "That man will drink anything."

Drill Sergeant (speaking to new recruit having difficulty): "What was your occupation before enlisting in the army?"

Recruit: "Traveling salesman, sir."

Drill Sergeant: "Stick around, you'll get plenty of orders around here!"

The boys were arriving back at the fraternity house after the summer vacation.

"What have you been doing this summer?" one asks another.

"Working in my dad's office, and you?"

"Yeah, I've been loafing around and doing nothing too."