Air Force Approach: "Eagle 13, turn right to 330."

Eagle 13: "Roger 330."

App: "Eagle 13, I've been working since last night, will you do me a favor?"

Eagle 13: "Affirmative, go ahead."

App: "Down below on your right, you'll see a base house with a yellow roof near the lake. That is my house. I had a fight with my Wife. I think we made peace but I'm worried she might take it out on my Harley. Do you see a Harley Davidson near the house?"

Eagle 13: "Negative sir. Instead, I can see a Ryder's truck."

Two lazy-bones are fast asleep. A thief comes in, pulls the blanket from the bed, and makes off with it. One of them is aware of what happened and says to the other, "Get up! Go after the guy who stole our blanket!"

The other responds, "Forget it. When he comes back to take the mattress, let's grab him then."

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam.

"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for the test."

There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the front of the class, and took the professor up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."

One final student rose up and opted out of the final.

The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in yourselves," he said. "You all get 'A's."