I had been in heaven as an Apprentice Angel for about three months and was enjoying my stay. The day came when I was called to visit God.

GOD: "You are about to get your wings."

ME: "Lemon pepper or barbeque?"

GOD: "Get out... just go..."

I had just become a Second lieutenant in The Marines when my mother and I were walking toward the Iwo Jima monument. We were about to cross the street when a truck was coming toward us. We jumped back out of the way.

The driver, a USMC Gunny Sergeant slowed down, leaned out the window, saluted and told mother, "Don't worry, I wouldn't hit an officer -- there's too much paperwork in it."