My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

I replied, “No.”

She yelled back, "What about now?"

I recently came into a lot of money...

and that's why I got fired from the bank.

My wife says that I spend too much time talking to random people online.

What do you guys think?

Where do bicycles go for a drink around here?

Handle bars.