"Yoda, are you sure we're headed in the right direction?"

"Off course we are..."

I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction...

... But it's okay, I'll win her back.

I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.

She said, "Yes, all the others were nines and tens."

“Boss can I have a week off around Christmas?”

“It’s May...”

“Sorry. May I have a week off around Christmas?”