When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Nothing.

It’s on the house.

I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

"Hard drive?" he asked.

"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."

I went to the doctor with hearing problems. He said, "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said, “Homer’s the big dude and Marge has blue hair...”