My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.

I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"

She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."

"No, no it doesn't," I said.

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X.

I don’t know why.

My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.

I had some pretty big shoes to fill.

Dad to his son: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!”

Son: “Go on, then.”

Dad growls: “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”

Son: “Dad, that’s Superman!”

Dad: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”