Judge: "I order you to pay $10,000."

Mario: "Why?"

Judge: "It’s a fine."

Mario: "No itsa not!"

I went skydiving today for the first time.

This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane.

As we plummeted he said, "So how long have you been an instructor?"

My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”

I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.

She asked, "How warm is it inside?"

I said, "Lukewarm."