I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

Officer: "Why should you be released early?"

Man: "I’m..."

Officer: "Go on..."

Man: "I think..."

Officer: "Yes?"

Man: "Can I please finish my sentence?"

Officer: "Sure, if that's what you really want. Parole denied."

I once bought a dog off a blacksmith.

As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.

I’m currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford.

It’s an autobiography.