My wife told me I was immature...

So I told her to get out of my pillow fort.

I asked a librarian if they had any books on "different noise levels"....

The librarian said, "Sure, what volume would you like?"

I made a playlist for hiking. it has music from The Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

I asked my wife when her birthday was.

She said March 1st.

So I walked around the room and asked again.