What's the difference between an actor and a burnt rodent?

One’s Chris Pratt, the other is a crisp rat.

I told my cat that I'm going to teach him to speak English.

He looked at me and said, "Me, How?"

What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07.

My friend is losing his mind over missing a piece of his 5000 piece puzzle.

If he thinks thats bad, I'm missing 4999 pieces.