My GPS just told me to turn around...

Now I can’t see where I’m driving.

It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.

She'll be happy to know I got the hint.

I got her a magazine rack!

A young man showed up to his date’s house and told her they were going to have “an awesome time” that evening.

“What are we doing?” she asked.

“I got three tickets to a concert.”

“Why would we need three tickets?” his date asked.

“The tickets are for your parents and sister.”

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Quarantine.