"How much does it cost to buy a large singing group?"

“A choir?”

"Okay, fine... how much does it cost to 'acquire' a large singing group?"

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?"

A little boy in the front row said, "You're a mother."

A bald man got a great deal on a wig today - only $1!

It was a small price toupee.

What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm?

The CIEIO!