What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass???

“Oh carp!”

If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get?

Answer: Away!

Waitress: “What’ll it be, Pops?”

Pops: “I’ll take two eggs, a pancake, a sausage, and a beer.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve beer with breakfast.”

Pops: “Dang it! Well then why the heck do you call yourself IHOP?”

Eureka!

I've discovered a machine that produces love, wealth, death, health, failure and success via sound waves.

I've named it The Rumor Mill!