"Wise men are always in doubt. Only idiots are sure of their case."
"Are you sure of that?"
"Yes, absolutely."
"Do you smoke?"
"No."
"Do you drink?"
"No."
"Do you eat hay, then?"
"No."
"Man, you're not a fit companion for man or beast."
What is the opposite of stand up comedy?
A Sitcom.
My two-year old granddaughter, Sally was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by the dentist.
Sally kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.
With about six other patients waiting, Sally marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "Wake up! This is not church!"