My two-year old granddaughter, Sally was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by the dentist.

Sally kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.

With about six other patients waiting, Sally marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "Wake up! This is not church!"

Did you hear about the brawl at the post office?

The stamps got licked by the postmaster.

Teacher: "Children, there will be only a half-day of school this morning."

Johnny (in back seat): "Whoopee! Hurray!"

Teacher: "Silence. We'll have the other half this afternoon."

"I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?"

"Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on?"