I recently took my wife grocery shopping near Detroit at one of those Supermarkets where you have to insert a quarter in the Shopping cart to unlock from the next cart.

My wife used the cart for all that she was getting. When she came to the car with the grocery, I loaded them into the car and she took the shopping cart. Rather then put the cart back to get her quarter back, I noticed she turned over the shopping cart to someone going into the market and didn't even get a quarter.

I thought to myself, "I guess Detroit Lions are not the only ones that give away their 'Quarter Back'!"

During a Christmas exam, one of the questions was: What causes a depression?

One of the students wrote: "God knows! I don't. Merry Christmas!"

The exam paper came back with the prof's notation: "God gets 100. You get zero. Happy New Year."

Up in Maine a motorist came across a lonely hut and interviewed the proprietor with a view to writing up the locality.

"Whose house is this?" he asked.

"Moggs."

"What in the world is it built of?"

"Logs."

"Any animals natural to the locality?"

"Frogs."

"What sort of soil have you?"

"Bogs."

"How about the climate?"

"Fogs."

"What do you live on chiefly?"

"Hogs."

"Have you any friends?"

"Dogs."

If I won the lottery, I wouldn't quit my job...

I'd just sit there doing nothing and see how long it took them to fire me.