Doctor: "My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did."

Patient: "Why, Doc, are you broke?"

"I saw the doctor you told us to see."

"Did you tell him I sent you?"

"Yes, I did."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me to pay in advance."

A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an apple, the wife suggested he seek out a Psychic to help him find fun.

Seeing him happy again a few weeks later she asked if her suggestion helped him at all. Her husband told her that her suggestion to seek out a “Side Chick” was very good!

A cinema actor, suing for a breach of contract, described himself as the greatest actor in the world.

One of his friends took him to task for so loudly singing his own praises.

"I know," replied the actor, "it must have sounded somewhat conceited, but, remember, I was under oath."