I went bald early in life...

I have a comb...

I just can’t part with it.

I had the rudest, slowest, and nastiest cashier today...

That’s the last time I use the self checkout lane!

Where do you take some one who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I-C-U!

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, “Don’t worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.”

“Really? Why do you think so?” asks the despairing one.

“I owe the IRS five years’ worth of taxes.”