After reviewing Little Johnny's report card, Johnny's mother gave praise for the marks he received except for one class. "Johnny, I wish you would pay a little attention to your arithmetic."

"Well I do," Johnny replied. "I pay as little attention to arithmetic as possible."

Who invented high heels?

It must have been a lady who was continually being kissed on the forehead...

Wayne, who has been impatiently waiting for a friend: "Where have you been all afternoon?"

Friend: "I just saw the movie 'Henry the Sixteenth'."

Wayne: "You mean 'Henry the Eight', where did you get 'Henry the Sixteenth'?"

Friend: "I sat through it twice."

Ten-year-old Tommy greeted his sister's boy friend very enthusiastically, "That harmonica you gave me for my birthday is easily the best present I have ever had!"

"I'm glad you liked it," the boyfriend replies.

"Oh yeah! Mother gives me a quarter a day not to play it!"