Little Johnny and his younger sister Everleigh were on their very first train ride. They had brought along bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel them, the train entered a long, dark tunnel.
"Have you eaten your banana yet?" Johnny asked excitedly.
"No," replied Everleigh.
"Well don't touch it then!" Johnny shouted. "I just took a bite and went blind!"
It's Christmas morning and after all the gifts are unwrapped Little Johnny ask the following qeustion, "Mother, where did all these pretty toys come from?"
Mother: "Johnny, Santa brought all of them."
Johnny: "Did he bring everything? Did he bring the electric train, the baseball glove and bat? The ice skates..."
Mother: "Yes Johnny, Santa brought everything."
Johnny: "Well, then who buys all the things in the stores?"
Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."
Her: "And the other half?"
Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."
The arithmetic teacher proposed the following to the class, "If there are three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?"
After a short time, Little Johnny shouts out, "Two left."
The teachers response, "I'm afraid you don't get the point. Let me repeat the joke. There were three crows on a fence and one is shot, how many would be left?
Johnny replied again, "Two left."
Teacher, "No, none would be left, because when one is shot, the other two would fly away."
Johnny, "That's what I said, TWO LEFT!!!"