One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'

Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.

The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"

A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?

Because the rest of the letters were not-E.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two - one to screw it most of the way and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

I told the doctor’s receptionist I need an appointment.

“How about 10 tomorrow?” she asked.

“I don’t need that many,” I replied.