What do you call a dinosaur fart?

A blast from the past.

My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”

During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101. After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete.

“No, I’m not,” I assured him.

“Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche,” he joked.

“Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.”

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "Sure."

The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"