An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500."

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn.

A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200."

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America...

The rest cheat in Europe.

My boss won't stop flirting with me.

It makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Mainly because we're a family run business.

You know it's just too hot when...

1. Fireflies are asking you to put them out.

2. Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

3. Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.

4. Your sweatpants are sweating and you're not even wearing them!

5. The thermometer resigned.

6. The National Weather Service says its too hot to declare a heat advisory.