We'll We'll We'll...

If it isn't autocorrect.

My wife and I are a temperamental couple...

I’ve got a temper and she’s mental.

Saw a sign at a store that said, "We treat you like family."

I'm not going in there.

I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something.

I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes.