A naked man runs into a tailor's shop.

The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!"

The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?"

8am: Too tired to think.

Noon: Too tired to think.

5pm: Too tired to think.

Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?

93% of dog owners are convinced their dogs can smile.

The 7% who don't are afraid if they do smile, they may need braces.

I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies...

My therapist suggested I need an outlet.