The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package.

For example, Good 'n Plenty is now Not Bad 'N A Couple.

The $100,000 Bar is now the $27 Bite.

Then, of course, there's the new 2 Musketeers bar.

My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher.

"In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night."

"Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked.

"Your mom moved you to another school."

Top 5 Signs that you Travel Agent is not very good:

Just booked your cruise to Las Vegas.

He spelled Europe with a ‘Y'.

Just asked, "How do you feel about cattle cars?"

Picks connecting flights using the "Eeny! Miney! Mo" method.

Just said, "England? Never heard of it!"

Top 5 Signs that Gasoline has gotten way too expensive:

1. A gas station is offering a free car with every fill up!

2. Any purchase over a gallon requires a credit check.

3. Price is now in gold bullion.

4. Texaco now offering monthly payment plans.

5. You're excited to find gas at under $5 a half cup.