What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?

A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.

The guy who stole my diary died...

My thoughts are with his family.

Anyone who says marriage is an equal partnership is talking utter bollocks.

I gave up my mates, my motorbike, drinking, drugs, gambling...

All she gave up was sex.

“I’m the number everyone hates," said 13.

“No way, I am the number everyone hates,” replied 666.

"L-O-L," 2020 chuckled.