Quitting Social Media is the adult version of running away from home...

We all know you do it for attention and you'll be back soon.

Top ways high egg prices are changing the world:

Only the wealthy can now afford to walk on eggshells.

Eggs are now considered too good to scramble.

"Laying an egg" is now a compliment.

People are starting to ask for a cost-of-mayo raise.

You can have a steak. Or, for $2 more, an egg salad sandwich.

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:

Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?

"No, never."

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?

"Oh yes, lots of times!"

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony?

"Yeah, three of them."

At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "Well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?"

The man responds: "Never got one."

What are the favorite vegetables in Washington, D.C.?

In Congress, it's celery...

At the White House, carrots...

And of course, at the Supreme Court, leeks.