A witch was flying her broom along when she noticed that all the other witches were flying on vacuum cleaners.

She thought, "Am I the only one still driving a stick?"

My favorite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather...

Until my mother took the urn from me.

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.

The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”

The man says, “I’m probably too honest.”

The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”

The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”

My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.

Told her it's because I can't stand doing it.