What do you call a professional you hire to put someone down?
An Insultant.
I think the whole "Autumn-is-in-the-air" theme has gone too far.
Today I went to Jiffy Lube and they offered me a "Cinnamon Spice" oil change.
A man walks into a bar and orders the latest, seasonal beer.
He takes one gulp and nearly chokes. “This beer goes down like sandpaper!” he yells.
“Of course,” replies the bartender, “it’s only a rough draft.”
One morning over breakfast, a husband was complaining to his wife. “I’ve been with the circus for over 25 years, and every performance I follow behind the elephants and clean up their poop. Twenty-five years, ‘Scoop the poop! Scoop the poop!’ I’m tired of it.”
His wife calmly said, “If you’re so unhappy, why don’t you quit?”
“What! And leave show business?!”