A woman posts her profile on a dating app. Two days later, she gets a message back, saying, "I would love to meet you, but I need to tell you that I am eight feet tall, covered in long, mangy fur riddled with fleas, and have glowing yellow eyes, razor sharp claws and long, drooly fangs. If you are still interested in meeting me, I'll be sitting on a bench in Central Park at five o'clock this afternoon."

The woman replies, "I would love to meet you, but could you please wear a red rose and some French cologne so I can recognize you?"

A sea captain is holding a class at a local dock where several young men and women are learning how to be sailors. "All right, class," the captain states. "Now, if you were out at sea and suddenly a tremendous storm brewed up, what should you do?"

A young man in the front row raises his hand. "Yes, lad?" the captain replies.

"Throw out an anchor," the young man relies.

"Very good. Now, if another tremendous storm brewed up shortly thereafter, what should you do then?"

"Throw out another anchor."

A puzzled look crosses the captain's face. "Well, but what if another tremendous storm brews up?"

"I'd throw out yet another anchor."

"Now hold on there for a second, young fella," the captain says incredulously. "Where do you keep getting all of these anchors?"

"The same place you keep getting all of these tremendous storms, sir." the young man replies.

While fixing his roof, a man fell off of the ladder. After meeting with his wife later, he told her that four ribs were broken.

"Four ribs broken?!" she gasps. "Which hospital did you go to?"

"I didn't have to go to the hospital." he replies. His wife stares in perplexity. "Four broken ribs and you didn't have to go to the hospital?"

"No, it was the fella I landed on who broke four ribs."

A fishmonger is painting "FRESH FISH SOLD HERE" above his door when a passerby comes to meet him. "It's probably not necessary to write, 'Here'; you're not selling it anywhere else after all."

"No, that's right." the fishmonger replies.

"And it's probably not necessary to write 'Sold' either, since you wouldn't be giving it away."

"No, that's true," the fishmonger says.

"It's probably also not necessary to write 'Fresh' as your sellers naturally will assume it is fresh," the helpful man continues.

"Yes, that's quite true," the fishmonger replies. "Thank you very much, you've saved me a lot of trouble."

"You're welcome," the man replies. "Oh, and by the way, you probably don't even need to write 'Fish'; I could smell it from a block away."