There once was a butcher named Herman who was famous for his fresh made turkey pies. Customers used to come from miles away to taste his pies. However, after a while, they had noticed that the pies didn't taste quite as good as they used to.

Hoping to get to the bottom of this matter, a customer approaches Herman one day and says, "Herman, I've noticed that lately your pies seem to taste different. Have you changed the recipe?"

"Well, just between you and me," Herman replies. "The pies have been in such high demand that there haven't been enough turkeys to go around, so I've been mixing in a bit of horse meat."

"Horse meat!" the customer echoes in shock. "How much?"

"Oh, about fifty-fifty." Herman replies.

"Fifty-fifty?"

"One horse to one turkey."

Young Office Worker, to older boss: "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir."

Older Boss: "What do you mean you think?"

Young Office Worker: "Well, when I answered the phone, a voice said, 'Is that you, you old fool?'"

Teacher: "Now Johnny, can you tell me some of your favorite numbers?"

Little Johnny: "541, 29, 623, 188, 769 and 40."

Teacher: "Very good, Johnny, now I would like you to add your favorite numbers together."

Little Johnny: "Uhm, uh... actually, a couple of numbers I really like are 4 and 1."

A teacher was telling her class about the importance of dressing warmly in the winter, and to illustrate this, she told them the story of her neighbor's little boy.

"He went sledding without any coat, gloves, or hat," she said. "And ended up with a bad cold. Now, does anyone have any questions?"

A little boy in the back raised his hand. "Who's using his sled now?"