Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air
Lingus​ flight from ​Dublin​, the lead flight attendant​ nervously made the
following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has
been a terrible mix-up... one minute prior to take-off, by our catering
service..., I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers
on board, and..., unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals... I
truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.”

When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued..., "Anyone who is
kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will
receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 4 hour flight.”

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later... "If anyone would like to
change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

“The prosecutor says she can produce five witnesses who saw you running from the bank with the money bags,” a defense lawyer confided to a suspect. “That’s nothing, said the suspect. “I can produce five hundred witnesses who didn’t see me running from the bank.”

A busy mother and her two small children, Jack and Sally, were on a train ride to the city.

Halfway through the trip, Jack asked his mother, “What was the name of the last station where this train stopped?”

The mother replied, “I don’t remember. “Why?”

“Well,” little Jack answered, “because that’s where Sally got off.”

After being punished for losing his temper, a little boy ventured to ask his mother, “Please explain to me the difference between my foul tempered and your worn nerves.”