The Last 7 Jokes-A-Day Sent By E-mail

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Category: Judges Jokes
Ranking: 4.29 / 42
A woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: “a can of peaches.” The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Apr/27/2010    pub.:Apr/27/2010    sent:Oct/21/2014

Category: Computer Jokes
Ranking: 3.09 / 110
Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. That's a hardware issue.
Thanks to: LJ Margolis - USA.
rec.:Jul/2/2004    pub.:Aug/3/2004    sent:Oct/20/2014

Category: Kid Jokes
Ranking: 3.60 / 62
An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. 
The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. 
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"
Thanks to: Charlene Bochniak
rec.:Apr/18/1999    pub.:Apr/18/1999    sent:Oct/19/2014

Ranking: 3.22 / 95
Everybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. “I tried it but they wanted cash.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Dec/4/2009    pub.:Dec/4/2009    sent:Oct/18/2014

Ranking: 2.59 / 251
A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
A police officer!
Thanks to: joujou man - Gambia, The
rec.:Jun/11/2002    pub.:Aug/24/2002    sent:Oct/17/2014

Category: Idiots Jokes
Ranking: 3.09 / 114
Two roofers, Larry and Joe were on the roof laying tile, when a sudden win gust came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea” said Larry. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.” What, do you thing, I’m stupid? “I have and idea” said Joe. “I’ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light.” What, do you think I’m stupid? “You’ll just turn off the flashlight when I’m halfway there.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/19/2008    pub.:Mar/19/2008    sent:Oct/16/2014

Ranking: 3.67 / 165
Two classmates were chatting in their lunch break...
"I know how to get money real quick" says one,” how?"
"go to your dad and say, "I know the truth" and he'll give you money"
So the young boy went home and said "dad, I know the truth" and
his dad gave him ten dollars and told him not to tell anyone 'the truth'.
He then went to his mother, " Mom, I know the truth” he said.
"Please don't tell your dad" she said and gave him twenty dollars.
Content with thirty dollars he went outside to go to the arcade and saw the milkman. "I know the truth,” he shouted out.
The milkman replied "Well come and hug your real father then"
Thanks to: Ehryn Blacker - Azerbaijan
rec.:Jan/21/2002    pub.:Mar/6/2002    sent:Oct/15/2014


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