The Last 7 Jokes-A-Day Sent By E-mail

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Ranking: 3.66 / 372
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
Thanks to: Stephen Goldspink - Peterborough - United Kingdom
rec.:Nov/30/1999    pub.:Nov/30/1999    sent:Sep/17/2014

Category: Elderly Jokes
Ranking: 3.33 / 725
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just waken up!" The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"
Thanks to: Peter Prestipino - USA.
rec.:May/9/2000    pub.:May/9/2000    sent:Sep/16/2014

Category: Golf Jokes
Ranking: 3.50 / 242
Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up." He came back and said: " We both have the same problem.”
Thanks to: Horst Kaltenbrunn - Australia
rec.:Aug/10/2003    pub.:Aug/19/2003    sent:Sep/15/2014

Ranking: 3.63 / 190
If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around is he still wrong?
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:May/3/2004    pub.:May/3/2004    sent:Sep/14/2014

Category: Family Jokes
Ranking: 3.74 / 172
A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his library for a drink. “So what are your plans?” The father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar.” He says. “A Torah scholar, Hmmm,” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she is accustomed to?” “I will study,” the young man said, and God will provide for us.” “And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?” asks the father. “I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “God will provide for us.” “And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?” “Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancé. The conversation continues like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insist that God will provide. Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, Honey?” The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/19/2008    pub.:Mar/19/2008    sent:Sep/13/2014

Ranking: 3.03 / 584
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." 
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" 
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." 
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple." 
Thanks to: - Pembroke - Pines Florida
rec.:Mar/5/2000    pub.:Mar/5/2000    sent:Sep/12/2014

Ranking: 2.94 / 665
"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
Thanks to: Stara Howard
rec.:May/28/1999    pub.:May/28/1999    sent:Sep/11/2014


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