The Last 7 Jokes-A-Day Sent By E-mail

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Ranking: 3.20 / 531
Two drunks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler makers, buying rounds like there was no tomorrow. They were dancing, calling each other "professor," and generally causing quite a stir. When asked why such a celebration, they boasted that they just finished a jigsaw puzzle & it only took them 2 months! "TWO MONTHS?!" cried the bartender. "That's ridiculous. It shouldn't take that long!!"
"Oh yeah?" says one drunk. "The box said 2-4 YEARS!"
Thanks to: Dave Lundy
rec.:Apr/2/1997    pub.:Apr/2/1997    sent:Apr/27/2015

Category: Animal Jokes
Ranking: 3.80 / 5
Q: Why did the T-rex go to the doctor?
A: Because he had a Dino-sore!
Thanks to: azzy - USA.
rec.:Jan/4/2015    pub.:Apr/16/2015    sent:Apr/26/2015

Category: Kid Jokes
Ranking: 3.21 / 126
In a Classroom the teacher asks; Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
Thanks to: Anonymous - USA.
rec.:Mar/15/2007    pub.:Mar/15/2007    sent:Apr/25/2015

Category: Elderly Jokes
Ranking: 2.98 / 188
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch."
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?" 
"Opened a can of peas instead."
Thanks to: Simple Sentiments - Florida - USA.
rec.:Feb/13/2000    pub.:Feb/13/2000    sent:Apr/24/2015

Ranking: 3.41 / 228
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her hard glances and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in hurry and not a happy camper about the slowness of the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, "Well, I'll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!"

"Don't worry, ma'am," replied the clerk. "With a good tail wind and that brand new broom you have there, you'll be home in no time."
Thanks to: Jack Anders - Richmond - Virginia - USA.
rec.:Dec/6/2002    pub.:Apr/16/2003    sent:Apr/23/2015

Category: Insults Jokes
Ranking: 2.57 / 394
A large woman put on a dress and asked her husband if the dress made her look different.
Her husband said, " You’re asking the wrong person, I saw you before you put it on.
Thanks to: Steve - USA.
rec.:Apr/17/2002    pub.:Jun/22/2002    sent:Apr/22/2015

Category: Doctors Jokes
Ranking: 3.07 / 600
A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, "I got shingles."
She said, "Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you're done, please take a seat."
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she took down his height, weight, and complete medical history, then said, "Change into this gown and wait in the examining room."
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said, "I got shingles."
So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told him to wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."
The doctor gave him a full-cavity examination, and then said, "I just checked you out thoroughly, and I can't find shingles anywhere. " The man replied, "They're outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
Thanks to:
rec.:May/20/2000    pub.:May/20/2000    sent:Apr/21/2015


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