The Last 7 Jokes-A-Day Sent By E-mail

A snail was mugged by a tortoise. The police said "Can you give us a description of your attacker?
The snail said, "no, it all happened so fast!"

Q: Do politicians ever lie?
A: What do you think they get paid for?

Q. What do you call a bug with manners?
A. A lady bug

Q: If a one L-ama is a Tibet monk (Lama)
And a two L-ama is a South American pack animal? Llama?
What is a three L-ama?
A: A really big fire.

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where?"

This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field, she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this, the mule kicked her and she died. At the funeral, the ladies came up and talked to the farmer. The farmer nodded his head "yes". The men came up and talked to him and the farmer nodded his head "no”. Well this other man wondered why he nodded his head "yes" to the ladies and "no" to the men. Then, he went up to the farmer and asked him why. The farmer replied,” Well, when the ladies came up, they told me how pretty my wife's dress was and how pretty she looked. When the men came up, they asked,’ That mule for sale?'

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer
interested?
PUPILS: A teacher.