Latest Jokes

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Lord, Give me coffee to change the things i can change...

... and wine to accept the things I can't.

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posted by "ajokes" |
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This was a recent conversation that I had with my girlfriend’s father, who knows I do web design.

Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?

Me: Oh, that's simple, not hard at all.

Girlfriend: No, he doesn’t mean to make a Facebook profile. He means to redo ALL of Facebook.

Me: Oh. In that case, that's very hard.

Father: Oh, okay. (Pause) What are we talking then, maybe just 3 to 5 hours?

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posted by "ERS" |
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Melissa went up to her college professor, ready to contest the grade she received in the class. "I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper?

After staring at her with a blank look, the professor responded. "Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation."

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posted by "ERS" |
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A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.."

The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's only half crazy."

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posted by "HENNE" |