Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.
Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?
Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I don't drink that awful stuff, it makes me nervous!
Mary: They have decaffeinated coffee, you know?
Sally: It's not the caffeine that makes me nervous... it’s the price!
A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player.
Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance.
She, of course, humbly responded, "It's the least I could do... especially since I won't be at the performance."
Jill: What took you so long?
Jack: I was parking the car!
Jill: How long does it take to park a car?!
Jack: I kept driving around looking for an empty space, but I couldn't find one. As for the parking lots, their prices are outlandish! Finally, I found one place to park where the price was reasonable.
Jill: Where was that?
Jack: In a drive-in theater.