Latest Jokes

5 votes

A very self-centered actor was hauled into a court as a witness. When asked to state his occupation he announced quit confidently, "I am the world's greatest actor."

"Why did you tell them that?" a friend inquired afterward.

"Had to," was the answer. "I was under oath."

5 votes

posted by "Richard Felt" |
1 votes

Nero was talking to his financial advisers in a Roman amphitheater.

"Why aren't we making any money from this building?" he said.

An advisor replied, "Because the lions are eating up all the prophets."

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
1 votes

Why do Nuclear physicists have trouble concentrating on one project?

They have too many ions in the fire.

1 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

At 8 p.m. one night, a pilot who had run out of fuel made an emergency landing at a top secret government base. He was quickly surrounded by security and taken inside to be interrogated. The interrogation was grueling because they wanted to make sure it was an unplanned landing and he was not a spy.

The interrogation lasted all night. At 6 a.m. they refueled his plane and let him go with his promise never to return. Four hours later he returned and landed again. Security met him on the runway. They asked him why he had come back.

"I know I promised never to return but I brought my wife and now you have to tell her where I was all night..."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Douglas" |