John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was?
David: Eleven inches
John: That's not very long.
David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.
Why don't bald men have keys?
It's because they don't have locks!
How can you simultaneously claim that an Indian flat bread both exists and doesn't exist?
By saying, "There's naan there."
What kind of aspirin works best in the freezing cold of winter?