A driver visiting a big city for the first time stopped at a red light. But when the light turned green, he stayed where he was.
After the light changed several more times and he still didn't move, a traffic cop ran over and inquired politely, "What's wrong? Don't we have any colors you like?"
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, the yard foreman opened the door.
"Is that yours?" asked the officer, pointing to a company van that was jutting out into the narrow street.
"Uhh, yes it is," said the foreman. "That is, it's our company's."
"Would you mind moving it?" asked the officer. "We've set up a speed trap, and the van's causing everyone to slow down."
Policeman: "Hey, you! You're crossing the street when the light says, 'Don’t Walk'!"
Pedestrian: "Sorry, officer, I thought it was an ad for the bus company."