police jokes

I got pulled over. The cop asked me why I didn't stop at the stop sign?

I answered, "Do you believe everything you read?"

A police officer found a lost toddler hysterically calling her mother. The police tried to talk and console the toddler.

Police: "Don't worry child, I will help you go home. Where do you live?"
Toddler: "With my parents."

Police: "Where do your parents live?"
Toddler: "With me."

Police: "Where do you all live?"
Toddler: "In our house."

Police: "Where is your house?"
Toddler: "Next to our neighbor's house."

Police: "Where is your neighbor's house?"
Toddler: "Will you get me home if I tell you?"

Police: "Tell me."
Toddler: "Next to our house."

After conducting a preliminary investigation about home burglary, the homeowner is very anxious if he could get back his stolen belongings.

Homeowner: "Officer what is the chance of me getting my things back."

Police: "It's very unfortunate this happened. I am sorry even if we catch the culprits, chances are your properties are already sold or gone."

Homeowner: "What should I do?"

Police: "Better lock next time."

The two teenagers were arrested for disorderly conduct. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Sometime later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.

The sergeant said, "I suppose you're the lawyer?"

"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver their pizza."