An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt.
Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.
Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked.
"Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies."
A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".
They asked: “Arson?
The officer replies: “Yes, your son!”
After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the driver of the other vehicle was drunk.
He told me the other vehicle was a cow.