police jokes

A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"

A police officer found a lost toddler hysterically calling her mother. The police tried to talk and console the toddler.

Police: "Don't worry child, I will help you go home. Where do you live?"
Toddler: "With my parents."

Police: "Where do your parents live?"
Toddler: "With me."

Police: "Where do you all live?"
Toddler: "In our house."

Police: "Where is your house?"
Toddler: "Next to our neighbor's house."

Police: "Where is your neighbor's house?"
Toddler: "Will you get me home if I tell you?"

Police: "Tell me."
Toddler: "Next to our house."

After conducting a preliminary investigation about home burglary, the homeowner is very anxious if he could get back his stolen belongings.

Homeowner: "Officer what is the chance of me getting my things back."

Police: "It's very unfortunate this happened. I am sorry even if we catch the culprits, chances are your properties are already sold or gone."

Homeowner: "What should I do?"

Police: "Better lock next time."