elderly jokes

I asked my doctor why it scratched the skin on the back of my hand when the dog pawed it.

He told me when you get older your skin gets thinner.

Happy to know this... it explains a lot about my disposition too.

Grandma left the stove on and the pan was burnt. I asked her if she had a timer she can use, as to not forget in the future

"NO! Don't you dare go there! I don't have that," she said, shaking her fist at me.

"No, no, Grandma, I said 'A timer'!"

Two elderly women had been friends for over forty years. Each one was losing their hearing. Minnie asked, "Are you going to be home today?"

"Yes, as far as I know," replied her friend, Adie.

"Good I have a gift for you."

"Esther Price?" Adie asked.

Knowing Minnie loved Esther Price candy, she assumed the gift was candy. As the day wore on, Minnie finally arrived with a book on Smoothies. Adie was confused. "I didn't know Esther Price sold books?"

"They don't."

"But this morning you said they did."

"Oh, I thought you said, 'That's nice.'"