elderly jokes

Category: "Elderly Jokes"
$50.00 won 3 votes

"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"

"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers. "How?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

Joe: "I still remember what my grandpa said when he kicked the bucket."

Moe: "What did he say?"

Joe: "He said, 'How far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"

1 votes

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posted by "Kathy Harrington" |
2 votes

I have finally made it to those wonder years you hear about while growing up.

I wonder where my glasses are...

I wonder where my car is parked...

I wonder where my cell phone is...

I wonder where my sunglasses are...

I wonder...

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

Things You Say After 50:

Where the #$%# is my phone?

How did I get that bruise?

How do they expect you to read that small print?

Where'd I put my glasses?

I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!

Who the heck is calling at 9pm?

3 votes

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Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "aod318" |