elderly jokes

The other day I bought a new GPS for old angry people...

It tells other people where to go!

Her: Could you loan me ten dollars please?

Him: What did you say?

Her (a bit louder): Could you loan me twenty dollars please?

Him: I thought you asked for ten!

When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald.

Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out.”

Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out.”

Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men.”

Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair fall back inside their head.”

Fred: “That’s preposterous, do you have any proof?”

Barber: “Now that you’re older and thinning have noticed excess hair coming out your ears?”

Fred: “Yes, actually I have noticed that?”

Barber: “I rest my case.”

Elle: "Grandpa, why are these eggs so large?"

Grandpa: "They're duck eggs."

Elle: "Where did you get them?"

Grandpa: "On the internet. It's easy if you use Quack Quack Go, just type in eggs and hit enter."

Elle: "I think you meant duck duck go."

Grandpa: "I don't think so. You have to use the right search engine and I wasn't looking for ducks."

Elle: "What if I wanted to donate to animals in wildfire distress?"

Grandpa: "Firefox and if you' want to find a date go to...."

Elle: "Don't tell me, Yahoo right?"