elderly jokes

An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The now widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day her son came into her room holding a letter.

"I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in North Dakota. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his mother said. "Sign it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!"

An older couple were making their funeral arrangements. The cemetery salesman pointed out a plot that he thought they would like. "You will have a beautiful view of the swan pond," he assured them.

The husband didn't buy it, he replied, "Unless you will be including a periscope with my casket, I do not think I will enjoy it."

I asked my doctor why it scratched the skin on the back of my hand when the dog pawed it.

He told me when you get older your skin gets thinner.

Happy to know this... it explains a lot about my disposition too.