elderly jokes

Three seniors are out for a stroll.

One of them remarks, “It’s windy.”

Another replies, “No way. It’s Thursday.”

The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have a soda.”

I was wanting to fly my 82 year old mother, who has never flown to Chicago, for a visit.

"No way am I getting on an air plane," was mother's response.

I replied, "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."

Mother said, "I know, I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."

An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. "Sir, what is the secret of your long life?"

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, "Every evening at 9 p.m. I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I've heard."

The reporter then asked, "That's ALL?"

The man smiled, "Well, canceling my voyage on Titanic sure didn't hurt."