elderly jokes
Favorite this joke "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers. "How?"
1st Place
won
$50.00
Joe: "I still remember what my grandpa said when he kicked the bucket."
Moe: "What did he say?"
Joe: "He said, 'How far do you think I can kick this bucket?'"
I have finally made it to those wonder years you hear about while growing up.
I wonder where my glasses are...
I wonder where my car is parked...
I wonder where my cell phone is...
I wonder where my sunglasses are...
I wonder...
Things You Say After 50:
Where the #$%# is my phone?
How did I get that bruise?
How do they expect you to read that small print?
Where'd I put my glasses?
I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!
Who the heck is calling at 9pm?
9th Place
won
$6.00
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