elderly jokes

After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, “There, now you look ten years younger!”

My mother, un­impressed, replied, “Who wants to look 81 years old?”

Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders...

Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.

- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
- The cardiologist's diet... if it tastes good, spit it out.

- You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
- When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.