airplane jokes

Halfway between New York City and Washington DC the train's engine fell silent.

"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced. "The bad news is that we lost power."

The passengers groaned.

"The good news," he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."

Boarding the aircraft for the first time, Judy settled into a window seat in the quietest part of the plane. A man came over and politely said, "Ma'am, you're in my seat."

"Go away and find another seat!" Judy replied.

He said, "Okay, fine, you fly the plane."

My first apartment was so close to the Airport...

That every time I went to the kitchen to make a brew and a sandwich, the stewardess told me to get back to my seat.

Cabin temperature: 72 degrees
Stewardess: “Complimentary blanket, sir?”
Traveler: “No way, I’m boiling in here!”

Cabin temperature: 68 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $5!”
Traveler: “Nah, I’m warm enough, thanks!”

Cabin temperature 64 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $20!”
Traveler: “No thanks, I’m tough!”

Cabin temperature 60 degrees
Stewardess: “Blanket, sir? Only $50!”
Traveler: “Yeah, ok, I’ll take 3!”