His request approved, the news photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, "Let’s go!"
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off. Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I’m a photographer for cable news," he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, ‘So, what you’re telling me, is… you’re NOT my flight instructor?"
On a recent flight from New York to Seattle an elderly lady stands up and shouts, "Is there a doctor here?"
A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her, "I am. What is the problem?"
She replies, "Do you want to meet my daughter?"
After returning from a trip overseas, my luggage did not show up in the airport baggage area. Being a frequent flyer I knew the drill and went to the lost luggage office.
I told the woman there that my bags hadn't shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and that I was in good hands.
"Now," she asked, "has your plane arrived yet?"
Tower: Cessna 2737 you are three miles from final, turn left 270 and expect the RNAV to Runway 27.
Pilot: Aye Aye, Captain!
Tower: Cessna 2737... read back and repeat all the instructions correctly.
[Nearly 30 seconds later...]
Tower: Uhh..., Cessna 2737 please repeat back all instructions immediately!!
Pilot: Okay, I am so sorry about that, my co-pilot was at the controls and radio. Turning left to 270, and expecting the RNAV for runway 27 for Cessna 2737.
Tower: Readback is correct, and by the way, your co-pilot could use some training!
Pilot: Yeah, I concur with you. The only problem is that you can only teach a parrot so much!!